I am motionless, and fasting today. I didnt wake up for sahur and that’s shoddier than ever. I got my shower at 7.22am and still, my mood was swaying as I took a shower foam to scour my spotless and dirt free body.
I was deeming that a splendid day will gradually approach me when I turn 25. Last night I dared to speak up and voiced out my amorous desire to him, saying out loud my insane intention-to get engaged in the end of March. He was darn shocked, like I was making a slander even though I knew i wasn’t. If truth to be told, exceedingly I wish to stop this controversy. Ending up with a person that has married to a young and stunning lady THAN me, I dare not to start making up a mess again. After all this while, I keep my name sparkling and dirt free. That’s triggered me for sorting out doubt by asking my boyfriend to get engaged next year. In this 1 year and 8 months, I have fallen in love with 2 guys and that’s mean. Mean for everyone who knows me. Like I am wet elephant (am I really cost a fortune but useless?). Falling in love with someone in the twinkling on an eye has become my prior hatred. That shows how loose the tie and indiscipline, UNFAITHFUL and powerless to keep the promises.
Alas, my boyfriend is the injured party. His naive and greenery self reliant imprisoned me. I know I shouldn’t have let the new guy to enter my heart again. But still, I commited sin , becoming a gorgeous liar dated with him. Although my voice is engaged with my boyfriend’s conversation, but my hand is touching this new guy. Do I look gorgeous or sloppy brunette?
I wish to propel him marrying me sooner or later. For the sake of my virginity , and for the sake of UNFAITHFUL love that I hide inside, I really want to get married and live a life in a sacred way. I don’t bother to commit another original sin or making intact face while talking to others. I am yearning for marriage and I am inspired of becoming a trusted comrade, wife and lover for my husband!
God, please take me out of this. Take me away from this love affairs. I am craving and propelling myself to be a faithful person and stop having affairs with MEN. Lust or love? Please answer me...
